January 2019 – The Leaking Genius

January 31, 2019December 5, 2023Lifestyle, People, Personal, UpdatesLeave a comment

Forever West

Sedona Sunset — 1 final Sedona sunset before hopping a train East

Chicago train tracks — A few day lay over in Chicago

Me and Mike — Dive bar derbyin’ with the homey Mike

Stacey and Ben — And then I made some new interesting friends in Richmond when I got back

The 1 with the normal hair actually became a good friend of mine for a while and I would credit for getting me deep into the gardening/farming scene. His dad had a nice little farm 30 minutes from Richmond where I started spending a lot of time learning about vegetables and more specifically Shiitake (and all things) mushrooms. We inoculated probably around 1,000 shiitake logs for what we were hoping to kick off as a mushroom company, but unfortunately he wasn’t the most highly organized person at the time so that didn’t pan out. But it was still a great educational experience over the next couple years of helping him on and off and led me to pursue gardening/farming/permaculture on a countrywide basis.

Fire Poi — They spun a lot of records, fire balls and hula hoops

Floyd Fest '09 — Floyd Fest ’09 in Floyd, VA

Floyd Festival fairies — Copper toned fairies wandering around Floyd Fest ‘09

Dock at Mayhem in Wilmington, NC — Morning after at a local “burn” based off Burning Man called Mayhem in Wilmington NC

1 of many no sleep mornings in my life after at a local “burn” based off Burning Man called Mayhem in Wilmington NC, hallucinogens and burning large wooden objects being the main objective. Safety level 100.

Tent at Firefly — Also, note to self: Make sure when you borrow a tent from a friend to go to a survival skills gathering in Asheville NC to check the tent poles are in the bag otherwise you may have to improvise…

Richmond Sunset — A few months working in Richmond and I was ready to set off on the next adventure

I made friends with a bartender who was going on an extensive cross country road trip and invited me to come along so of course I figured why not… It seemed to be quickly becoming a habit, perhaps even an addiction, but compared to my “previous (earlier) life” there were many worse decisions I could have been making instead.

This is when I was officially introduced to and signed up on a website called Couchsurfing (https://www.couchsurfing.com/). I had heard murmurings of it for the last couple years, but never really took the time to explore it. With my lifestyle at the time it soon became one of my favorite and most useful website for years to come, which I still use periodically to this day. It is pretty well known by now and considered to have “sold out”, but for those who don’t know it is a website for travelers. Friendly people put their couch or spare room up as available and if they are free to host you when you are passing through town they will accept if they feel so inclined. Usually basing the decision on your message and profile, which has references left on your page by people you have hosted or surfed with. Basically a yelp review for vagabonds.

Staunton VA Sunset — The bartender grew up in Staunton VA so we stayed there for a week or so with her friends and relaxed in the quiet countryside while planning out the upcoming trip

The first town we stayed in was a funky little town called Boyertown, PA with 1 of her friends

Water Hole — 1 of the more odd water holes I’ve seen

Downtown Chicago — Spring in Chicago is really the only acceptable season

Oz Park Chicago, IL — Exploring Chicago with Karen from Sedona School of Massage

Skating shoreline — Skating the shoreline

North Ave Beach — North Ave beach in Chicago gives me the Coney Island feels

The Mean Bean — Mugging mean in front of The Bean

Bean Selfie — Wish there was a selfie Bean counter because it must be up there in the top 50

Chicago architecture — I don’t particularly like Chicago but I do love the architecture

Madison, WI lake — Madison Wisconsin, home of the largest farmers market in the country, spanning the entire 4 blocks of their capitol building. That was pretty much the highlight besides a $1 PBR and free bacon bar.

PBR and Bacon — Nothing goes better with PBR like some burnt crunchy bacon!

We also stopped through Milwaukee for a night, stayed with another Couchsurfer and went to watch a great reggae band called Groundation.

Picture perfect representation of South Dakota

The unimpressive Sioux Falls South Dakota

South Dakota Statuehead — Roadside South Dakota statue heads

Somebody paint this picture perfect South Dakota farm and clouds because I can’t

1 of the more interesting buildings I’ve come across, the “Mitchell Corn Palace”

Deer Hunter — South Dakota is definitely not vegan friendly

Beware Rattlesnakes — Felt patriotic so I dyed my hair

Dirty Little White Boy — Took my bastard snow child Dirty little white boy to see Mount Rushmore, he was murdered shortly after by a bratty human kid. RIP.

Sturgis, South Dakota — Sturgis South Dakota, home of the largest motorcycle gathering in all the lands

Bull with Devils tower — “You shall not pass!”

The Devils Tower, aka rock from Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Devils Tower selfie — When ya selfie game set on giant mode

Point of interest — It was pretty interesting, not going to lie

Yellowstone entrance — Entering Yellowstone, 1 of the most beautiful places in the country

Bison Herd — The oldest and largest public bison herd in the United States

Buffalo selfie — After this casual photo shoot we read through the Yellowstone reading material once back in the car and wouldn’t you know it there are strong warnings against doing exactly this, whoops.

Yellowstone Hot Springs — Spend a minute in these hot springs with PH values of 2 and your skin will separate from your body, 24 hours later you’ll be nothing but a pool of molecules

Old Faithful selfie — Ol’ faithful ain’t nothing but a vapor trail in the dead of winter

Acidic Hot Springs — Lucky for me I’m not much for Hot Springs anyways

Elk — Moments later he decided he didn’t like me so I ran for dear life

Antler Archway — Wouldn’t ya know it but you can make money collecting and selling these things, the antlers not the woman.

Christophers — Started my own restaurant along the way

Church reflection — Reflecting on Salt Lake City

Candid — Plotting our next Couch surfing move at our current couch surfers (and former Mormons) apartment in SLC

Seligman, AZ — Truck looks like it got a paint job since I last passed through Route 66 town Seligman

Alien Selfie — We come in peace Kingman Arizona

Trailer for sale — Thought about settling down and starting a family, but there wasn’t enough foliage for my liking

Free Breast Exams — I applied for the job but didn’t get it that time around unfortunately

Fishing Carbon Beach — Teach them how to fish… and they’ll bring you home food. I think that’s the saying.

We don’t fuck around when it comes to the BBQ

Kids play at Carbon Beach — “We just some motha fuckin’ kids.” ~ Mac Miller

PCH car accident — Car accident on the PCH

Carbon Beach sunset 1 — Ain’t no sunset like a West Coast sunset cause the West Coast sunsets don’t stop

Carbon Beach sunset 2 — “Don’t ya know that sunshine don’t feel right when ya inside all day, I wish it was nice out but it look like rain. Gray skies and I’m drifting, not living forever, they told me it only gets better.” ~ Mac Miller

There was actually quite a bit of chaos along this trip and among some of the people I was with in California so I headed back east briefly to refill the funds and find a new adventure.

Caught a Craigslist ride to Phoenix then hopped in the car with my friend I’d met in Richmond a year or so ago and he drove me up to Sedona. I stayed with my teacher from massage school briefly then went up to Flagstaff for a bit.

Fresh baked — 1 of my specialties (Baking them as well as consuming)

Sedona Arizona is definitely up there on the top list of unbeatable sunsets I’ve laid my eyes upon…

Macys coffee shop — Best coffee shop in Flagstaff

Amtrak may possibly be 1 of the best ways to see the country side, unless you have someone chauffeuring you around the countryside at your convenience and you can just look out the window all day.

Caught a train to Chicago and stayed there with friends, then hopped 1 more to Richmond and once again it was back to the drawing board.

January 24, 2019December 5, 2023Lifestyle, People, Personal, UpdatesLeave a comment

6 months in Sedona

I spent a few months in Richmond working and saving up some money then decided on massage school shortly after. I had been thinking about it the past year and after talking to my good friend who was a massage therapist I decided I would go for it. I chose The Sedona School of Massage, which I had toured earlier that year, and excitedly set off on my first cross-country train ride.

Sedona School of Massage backdrop — Parking lot at Sedona School of Massage

Even the parking lot from my school was a scenic vista. My school was anything but clinical, which was perfect for me, the others I toured I just knew I would be miserable. Every morning for 15 minutes we would practice juggling, we had a few yoga/tai chi classes and a couple art classes sprinkled in, as well as 4 “mandatory” hikes to rock jumps, waterfalls and rivers where we were taught about various spa treatments, salt scrubs, etc.

Sedona Vista — Just another average hike in Sedona

Sedona Rock Jump — Hiking with class to a rock jump

Swimming Hole — Another vista from a hike during massage school

Massage Instruction — Only actual photographic proof I went to massage school

Cat on a hot tin roof — Roommates cat taking in the scenery

I had planned on buying a van to stay in for those 6 months, but the person I was supposed to buy it from sold it before I got there so I wound up staying with a teacher from school and a previous student (his girlfriend) instead.

Yellow Cactus Flower — Some of my favorite flowers reside in the Arizona desert

During the 6 months of massage school we had a week break so my roommates and I took a quick road trip and went out to California. They went to stay with family and I stayed with my friend Rob in La Jolla.

Once back in Sedona we also visited Wupatki, an aspen grove, Flagstaff for a fun cover band we discovered at a brewery in Sedona, as well as Jerome to go to 1 of the “world famous” Halloween parties at “The Asylum” restaurant in the Jerome Grand Hotel.

Broken Walls of Wupatki — A broken wall in the Wupatki ruins

Pre-party Selfie — My alter ego, the “hip hop hippy” coming out to play… I don’t normally smoke cigarettes and wear diamonds, but when I do its for weird parties in Sedona AZ (Ok I lied, I didn’t actually smoke the cigarette, I just wanted to look cool and if someone were to give me diamonds I’d probably wear them)

Karen and the Lady in red — A fellow classmate working on making friends at the bar (and appearing to be doing a good job)

Jerome Grand Hotel, home of The Asylum restaurant and claims of being a very haunted building (previously being an actual Asylum in its former life)

I never expected I would learn so much at a massage school besides the obvious (massage), but those 6 months were jam packed with so much knowledge and amazing experiences. If you’re bouncing around the idea of going to a massage school I would highly recommend Sedona School of Massage (http://www.sedona-school-of-massage.com/), a really unique school in a magical setting.

January 17, 2019December 5, 2023Lifestyle, People, Personal, UpdatesLeave a comment

Fievel goes West

Red and Pink Belle Island sunset Richmond VA — Sunset from Belle Island in Richmond VA

I don’t actually know what Fievel goes West is besides that it’s a cartoon, but it was the title of our trip via Heathers (my ex-girlfriend) pictures folder title for our trip on her computer so here we go. I wont get into much personal details or stories due to this being a “relationship” and I’m not much for publicly posting sentiment, but I will give brief accounts of some of the trip that was actually caught on camera.

Sunset Collage from beginning of Belle Island — A pair of pictures from the same sunset on Belle Island, Richmond VA

Sunset Collage from end of Belle Island — A pair of pictures from the same sunset at the end of Belle Island, Richmond VA

After a brief visit to Richmond I made my way to Wilmington North Carolina to stay with Heather for a month or so before we left on our road trip. Rob came to visit for a week sometime during this so of course inebriated fun was had by all.

Ocracoke Lighthouse, Outer Banks North Carolina — “Ocracoke Light” on Ocracoke Island built in 1823

Boat Sunsets, Outer Banks North Carolina — Sunset over boats in the Outer Banks

Upon leaving our first stop is 1 of my all time favorite places and at that point future residences, The Hostel in the Forest. Not much needs to be explained really, the name says it all, but it involves tree house accommodations, stylish geodesic buildings, a lake with a floating dock and a whole lot of stinkin’ hippies to give the bullet points.

Hostel in the Forest Collage — Main dome and the glass house at The Hostel in the Forest, Brunswick Georgia

Hostel in the Forest fire pit Collage — Chicken by the fire pit at The Hostel in the Forest

Hostel in the Forest Angel shower and Lake Collage — The angel shower and canoes in the lake at The Hostel in the Forest

Heather in the lake at The Hostel in the Forest Brunswick Georgia — Heather standing in the lake at The Hostel in the Forest

Jekyll Island Collage — Driftwood Beach on Jekyll Island near Brunswick Georgia

We stayed for a few days then made our way to the i-40 and pretty much drove straight through with 1 stop in an Oklahoma hotel.

Road Trip along interstate 40 — Pictures of a sunset and interesting cloud formation while driving on interstate 40

We stopped off in New Mexico for some local sight seeing and food, taking in some of the Native American culture along the way.

Modernized Native American building and Murals

Native American Man dressed in Feathers Mural

Then we made a pit stop in 1 of the more strange towns I’ve ever been to called Seligman, AZ.

Tourist shops of the Route 66 town Seligman AZ — Tourist shops of the Route 66 town Seligman, AZ

Funky Seligman Trucks — Funky Trucks in Seligman, AZ

Memorabilia along the streets of Seligman, AZ

The World Famous Black Cat Bar in Seligman, AZ

We spent around a month hiking and camping in various places all over Arizona.

Road Trip views along interstate 40 in AZ — Road Trip views along i-40 in AZ

We explored the Wupatki Indian Ruins…

As well as Sunset Crater, Flagstaff, Sedona, the unique old and haunted mining town Jerome, Black Canyon City, Prescott, Williams and of course my favorite 14 mile hike, Havasu Falls in the Grand Canyon.

The hike into Havasu — A couple pictures of me hiking the trail along Havasu Falls

Havasu Falls, Grand Canyon Arizona — Havasu Falls in the Grand Canyon

The bridge to our tent site — The “bridge” to our tent site

Vistas from Havasu hiking trail — Pretty vistas from the Havasu hiking trail

The path to Rock Falls, Havasupai AZ — The path to Rock Falls a few miles past Havasu Falls

After a beautifully serene trip deep into a (at the time) not excessively explored wonderland we were on our way to Sin City for a few days to re-acclimatize into the modern world.

After Las Vegas we headed to California and met up with some of my friends for a camping/jet ski trip in Lake Isabella.

After that we headed for Los Angeles and stayed with my brother at the beach for a while.

Malibu, CA — Carbon Beach and Westward in Malibu

We were pretty burned out on each other after around 3 months, so we ended our trip in San Diego after staying with Rob for a couple weeks, but made sure to squeeze in a trip to Rosarito while we were there.

Rosarito Mexico and shooting practice — Rosarito Mexico and a little shooting practice

Then we fast tracked it back across the country at some point and I dropped her off in NC and the saga continued.

January 10, 2019December 5, 2023Lifestyle, People, Personal, UpdatesLeave a comment

Going back to Cali

Equipped with a ‘91 Nissan 240SX which would make many loops around the country, I was off once again. Didn’t take a scenic route for no real reason other than a lack of educational travel resources so I rushed across country. Unfortunately in too much of a rush I was pulled over in Oklahoma doing a whopping 5 miles over (if I was even that much over is debatable), and following that I may or may not have been detained until I paid the man as well as the other bribe to get my car out of lockup, and once again much angrier than before I was off. I got to New Mexico late that evening and stayed with my friend from Sarasota, who had since moved to Albuquerque. Explored Albuquerque for a week and in that time fell in love with the Sandia mountain range as well as connected with some good people, then continued on my way to California.

Carbon Beach sunset — Sunset at Carbon Beach, Malibu California

For the first few months I stayed with my brother and his girlfriend, working alongside him on random construction jobs.

When it was slow I would soak up the beach, walking miles a day thinking about life up to that point and since I was cleaning up my mental health I decided I’d clean up my lifestyle too. Started eating mostly organic to go with the long walks and weight lifting, swimming and even got into yoga regularly, which I had tried a handful of times before.

Every now and then I would take a weekend trip to a new beach. To this day my favorite California beach is Crescent Bay Beach in Laguna, and for some reason Oceanside holds a dear place in my heart and is a close second.

Oceanside Bird and Helicopter — Bird and Helicopter fly together in apocalyptic sunset

One day in Laguna heading to the beach I noticed a large billow of smoke, snaked my way up a hill through a neighborhood and was first on the scene to a house fire, even before the firefighters.

I had become friends with a girl who moved to San Diego from New Mexico, so I would visit her from time to time and had a lot of fun with her and her roommates that always threw parties and had a jacuzzi/pool and a fancy weight bench.

Kady, her friend and I — Safety meeting on the beach in San Diego

Enter Rob, my soon to be best friend, who started dating her at some point soon after, he became a very entertaining character in my life over the next years and basically a little brother.

Within 48 hours of meeting we were on our way to New Mexico for a drug-fueled weekend, but back in time for (his) school on Monday. Over the next months we’d meet periodically to go get in trouble on various beaches in San Diego or down in Rosarito if we wanted to raise the stakes. I’ll be leaving out a few plot lines here maybe to be later included in a more detailed book some day, but one of the highlight trips would have to be him getting black out drunk at Papas and Beer and me not too far behind, us almost breaking up a couple because the girl was very persistent with us on the dance floor and after that stumbling our way back to a hotel parking lot where we had parked. I nonchalantly relieved myself in front of my vehicle only to turn around to three heavily armed Federalis with very stern faces standing around my car staring at me. Luckily for me since an ATM had ripped me off earlier, the drunk girl of the couple kept sliding money into my pockets for unknown reasons and after the first few times of giving it back to her she succeeded. The Federali told me the problem could be solved for $20 and “act less drunk” after I finally convinced him Rob was too drunk to drive to be able to pick me up from the jail they wanted to give me a tour of. So I dug through my pockets and discovered the miracle my guardian angel had gifted me, $60 so I wouldn’t be spending an evening in a Rosarito holding cell with Juan “The Cigar” Gonzalez and Senor Papi Grande. Slightly more sober I zoomed up dimly lit roads to the border with Rob asleep in the seat next to me and patiently waited in a line of cars for my bladder to explode. We got to the border agents who apparently don’t believe in breathalyzer tests because after a brief conversation and them waking up a grumpy Rob insisting he remove his socks and shoes to check for pills and what not we made it through. I pulled off the first exit of the highway took a right in a round about of sorts, opened the door and projectile vomited, pulled up a few more feet stepped out and took the longest piss of my life, got back in, drove across the street, parked on a bridge and fell asleep until sometime in the morning. Good times… That definitely wasn’t the last or best of them, just a respectable benchmark and summary of our average weekend.

Halloween collage — Rob as a “1 night stand” and me as an inflatable bullrider

At some point I reconnected with a friend from Richmond who was living in San Francisco. He drove to L.A. and picked me up for a trip to Havasu Falls, which is a 14 mile hike each way deep into the Grand Canyon. We did next to no research, hopped in the car with minimal gear and set out after a few hours of sleep in the car as we waited for the sun to rise once we arrived. We hiked the entire day with a few snack and water breaks, but didn’t actually make the falls because we got lost in darkness so we threw a tent down on the side of a trail and awoke early to the sound of horses and Indians telling us we couldn’t camp there. We got the last mile done, found a stealth camp site after discovering it was $30 a night as we had not brought proper funds then explored the waterfalls for the next 2 days. Besides the Bahamas I’ve never seen water so bright blue, it was quite the site, especially after the barren waterless hike in. All of the sudden you’re surrounded by lush foliage, high cliffs and a large bright neon blue river that winds to 3 spectacular waterfalls.

Havasu Falls Collage — Havasu Falls and Old Blue

A couple months later it was my grandpas 99^th birthday, he lived with my uncle in Montana so I went to see him for what turned out to be the last time. I stopped in San Francisco for an evening and stayed with my friend then drove straight through except for a brief nap in a hotel parking lot at the bottom of a snowy mountain. For driving it doesn’t get much better than Montana, one moment you’re driving through farmland with nice streams and rivers, then suddenly through massive rock quarries up into huge snowy mountains, then back down again into what I can only imagine Alaska would look like and then you arrive to a really small random town called Great Falls and the Montana mystique ends with a thud. For the return trip it was a 14 hour straight through drive to Las Vegas where I crashed with Robs cousin for a few days, who can also lead you into trouble if that’s the goal, along with his back flipping Asian counterpart Ben Chi.

A few months later I reconnected with a friend in North Carolina that I’d started a budding relationship with so I decided I would head back east and we would go on our own road trip around the countryside.

January 3, 2019September 19, 2023Lifestyle, People, Personal, UpdatesLeave a comment

The Real World

Once I returned for the following year I morphed back into the old me with relative ease, unfortunately. Before leaving on the Central America trip I rented out a slightly dilapidated large 4 bedroom house with a friend and his 2 good friends in a nook tucked back behind the ghetto of Church Hill. In those days as the kids these days would say I was heavy into trappin’ and this was the trap house.

The Trap Mansion: My humble abode in the ghetto

I was also delivery driving at a couple pizza places to pick up extra customers and potential party friends, as well as construction jobs here and there.

Sunset in Maryland collage — Maryland sunsets

Spent time on an island in Maryland dropping in a massive brand new septic tank that we floated across the channel then heave hoed up the beach and rolled it into a giant hole.

Sunset merges with ocean — My favorite sunset I captured in Maryland

Turned out the house was never built on the property, but it was pretty there and nice weather so no complaints. Also, well known rumors of the island being haunted by a fisherman who died on the island.

Only because of how exciting it was I’ll give highlights of the year but keeping it abbreviated; all things considered for how it could have gone in multiple situations things went quite smoothly.

Got close with a few people, who originally were just in need of my “garden delivery” services, but turned into a regular hang out spot and I wound up there more often than my house. As well as with another friend who had a condo across town, which had a very nice pool. 1 of the people mentioned above needed money and since I thought I knew him well I loaned him some. The same weekend his roommate and I found out via power outage that the bill hadn’t been paid. She had given him bill money, but after a little research found out months had passed since any bills had been paid. We went through cabinet drawers and discovered a different name for him. So I cleaned out the contents of his room, which consisted of a cache of designer sunglasses, a wardrobe of cheesy funny shirts, a camera and other various items. Soon after he actually paid me back so I returned.. most… of the items back.

A more hype event was a party where 2 adjoined houses combined forces. A girl was pistol-whipped by the main character of this story as her and a male counterpart wandered down the street exiting the party. The pistol whipper wandered up to the houses and started yelling towards the porches. There were 6 or so people lined up, about 3 to a porch, he walked up to each of them 1 by 1 screaming profanities punching each of them in the face 1 time. Everyone stood stunned watching the madness unfold. I was leaning against a car next to my roommate, who was a fairly big guy of Iranian descent, and was looking very forward to this little ghetto fellow getting to him since he was going in order.

I knew things would take a sudden turn once this happened, and so it did. He gets hit in the mouth and immediately gets him in a headlock. Another person jumps in and goes to town with body shots and for the finishing touches a random bystander appeared out of nowhere to smash a brick on top of his head. Well it just so happened he had a partner in crime who suddenly retreated back to their car while this took place. I watched him remove a towel from the car, unroll it and out popped an AK-47. He started charging the party with the rifle and suddenly the alley beat down session broke up, we scattered like roaches and ran for cover. We rendezvoused at a gas station 10 minutes later and most of us were just glad to be alive, but my roommate who got the last shot of the evening to the face had other complaints. Pointing out his newly chipped tooth, hootin’ and hollerin’ about a lack of dental insurance and he now needed to go get his gun and kill that mother fucker. This continued for a couple more minutes then I think he possibly laughed at himself with the rest of us or just decided to sulk in silence while everyone else thanked their lucky stars they were lacking a 7.62 round to the body.

Sometime before or after I threw an epic triple kegger birthday party for myself at the House in the Hood, the stars aligned perfectly and way more people than expected made it out to the shadows of the city that night to drink and be merry. This is where I first became aware of a neighborhood kid who is the star of the rest of this last tale. 1 of the roommates decided he should turn this kid into his own private street dealer while giving him deals he couldn’t profit off of, so like all starving dogs do he finally bit back.

I got a call that our house had been broken into and a few things were missing, so I had my roommate break down my door to see if things seemed askew. All seemed normal so I came by that night and picked up the bulk of things I felt comfortable driving across town to my friends place and figured I’d be back for the rest the following day. He broke in again that day before we all got home from our daytime locations; again magically nothing went missing from my room. So I put the transport off for 1 more day and when I returned the following day my roommates had hatched a plan to hide out in the dark and lay in wait for him, my large Ukrainian friend and I obliged the idea. Unfortunately the girlfriend of the roommate who had originally invited the invader in thwarted us, and she broke up the plot so she could move her belongings out.

The roommates went to the corner to confront the kid and heated up between his friends and my roommates as the Ukrainian and I walked up. The kid looked to me for some reason as someone who may sympathize in his innocence but he was incorrect in his assumption. I called him out like everyone else. He rushed to get in my face but was intercepted and met the large palm of a Ukrainian man then suddenly met the floor. His friends retreated up the block as he called for their help, but there was no need because we left him in peace… Or so we thought. Back at the house we agreed the situation would likely not improve so we would move out our valuables as soon as possible and let the owners know we were ending our lease.

Soon after we heard yelling by the door while the girl was moving beds and what not outside. It was our friendly neighbor and since his friends were cowards he brought a bat as back up this time. There was a choice between an old diesel Mercedes and maybe a Honda, he was smart and went for the Honda. Suddenly the hood was covered in dents and we were trading threats back and forth while the girlfriend scrambled to call the police. This being the ghetto it took much longer than most people are used to so while we waited his family became involved and decided to yell at us as well. Finally they show up and he’s in cuffs but since he was 17 and I believe the only crime to pin on him was vandalism, he was actually released then and there. But not before yelling and screaming about a grow op in the house (strong exaggeration), that we were drug dealers and so on to the police and somehow incorporating that into his reasoning for his actions. So seeing as I still had multiple things I would not want police to find on the off chance they decide that was probable cause to search the house, which I had a strong assumption they would, I ran upstairs and started packing up certain items. Luckily a hoarder must have lived in the house before us because the basement was trashed, so I ran a travel bag full of fun times and some other things down to a furnace closet, closed it and threw a bunch of items in front of the door to make it look unused. As I was bringing the last items down I heard yelling that they were coming in the house so I left it at the bottom of the stairs in a neat little pile, which I may as well have put a bow on for them.

They go through the house and detain me until they search through my room because it had a strong odorous scent due to a wild skunk escaping earlier in the evening, but they just wouldn’t believe me. After they came up empty handed they searched the general areas of the house and for every blunt roach and gravity bong piece they found they would exclaim, “Chris you gotta throw away your roaches!” and so on. By this point they were actually being friendly and joking about this to our surprise. They found the questionable package at the bottom of the basement steps, but they weren’t exactly illegal items per se, just suspicious, and once we satisfied them with a fairly true story they gave up. They moseyed and poked around a while longer then finally decided they had better things to do than mess with some teenagers with an invisible grow operation in their house and we got off scot-free. And that was the grand finale for our lovely abode in the ghetto.

I spent a few more months in the area but then my suppliers’ comrade was arrested for transporting across the country and gave up everyone close to him, things went south quickly for all parties involved so I cashed out and went West for a while.

Month: January 2019